And the journey forks...

I've spent some time today browsing through other blogs. It's been a humbling experience. In fact, I just finished reading one blog from the beginning of September up to today's post, and am in utter awe of the young man who wrote it. I wish I had the talent he has for self-expression. Here was a young man, gay, Native American, with a true gift that I hope to be able to share for a long time to come.

*****

Past week has been a harsh one for me. I've spent the past 7 months preparing for this week, as Excel gathered for it's annual All Team Gathering. There were all the logistics of preparing for the event. And there was the reality the event would be one of those life-changing moments.

I've served Excel on it's Executive Committee since September 1999. For the first three years, I chaired the body, and then for another year and a half served as Clerk. These past 6 months, I was a member-at-large. Now, I am no longer in service in this way. I was so looking forward to this time being over.

I wasn't expecting the hole it's left! I didn't expect the let down. I have another one ahead... Board of Directors for MCC-O.... I'll be stepping down in just two months.

I viewed my service to Excel as a ministry... we all do. I believe I gave a great deal to that Ministry, and I believe I did it well. There were things I could have done better. I'm sure others would argue that my service was average at best. They may think what they will.

As I approach these next two months, I realize that when that day arrives, and I step down life will take a new direction. I suspect that will leave as deep a sense of loss as this week's. And, I'll be free of the responsibilities that I've carried. Oh-so-minor compared to many people in this world... but these two bodies have been my life for these past 4 - 5 years!

Life after MCC-O-BOD.... what will it look like? I don't know. I honestly wonder if I can truly have no role in life. I want to just step back and wait for that voice to speak to me again... to guide me into the next ministry.

Perhaps it already has. We have a Weekend Exercise to plan and put on in 2005. That's going to take much of the first half of the year.

Then, I really am feeling a strong sense that I need to take the lead in taking an Excel weekend to Australia... and will shoot for 2006 for that.

It's going to be an exciting time, if that really is what I decide to do.