Green Acres is the place for me.... Gr...

Well, it's been a while since I blogged last. Nearly two weeks. I'm not sure, really, why it's been that long. The day after my last post, I left for a trip to Houston, and got back the following Tuesday. Then there was LOTS of work to get caught up on, both at the office, and at church... But, that's that, now's now, and I'm ready to post again.

The focus of my thoughts for the past couple weeks, off and on, have been on the issue of marriage. Of course, we all know the negative focus afforded that topic in this past mudslinging fest, also known as an election. That probably got my mind on the topic.

Then, at the retreat I was on in Houston, we (a group of 52 mostly GLBTIEtc folk) shared the facility with International Marriage Encounter. The first night there, we were lectured on the importance of NOT displaying public affection for each other. Instead we were subjected to the PDA's of straight couples. This irritated me immensely. But that angst is not the topic of this column today, so the heck with it.

Since returning from Houston, I've been reading the blog of a guy who was getting married last weekend. He posted many endearing blogs this past week as the excitement built, then some thoughts since the ceremony concluded.

So... marriage has been on my mind a lot, lately.

What, exactly IS marriage? And what is it we, as gay folk (and all the rest of the alphabetic cohorts of ours) want in marriage? Okay, I'm not going to answer those questions for anyone but myself. Obviously, I can't answer for anyone else.

And my column is not the place for a scholarly evaluation of marriage, either. So if I leave something out, and you happen to come across this blog, see that something is missing, well... get over it. :D

Very loosely stated, I see marriage comprising 3 elements, not all of which are present to each marriage.

First, marriage is between two individuals. It's two people coming together and saying "We want to commit ourselves to each other, to living and loving together." It's probably, in this stage, mostly exclusive to the two. I say mostly exclusive, because I won't rule out that some couples enter into this relationship with an open understanding that there will be others. That's not part of what I want to discuss. So, marriage is between two people.

Second, marriage is the joining of two people together, as in the previous paragraph, in the sight of God or a Higher Power, and for these individuals, it is an agreement to honor their relationship with each other and God as a commitment of some type.

Third, marriage is the joining of two people together as sanctioned by the state.

And this is really the point that began my interest in this blog.

Call it sour grapes... the "Theology of Sour Grapes" or the "Politics of Sour Grapes" or just plain "Sour Grapes". Either way, I just don't see it.

Yes, it would be nice if I could enter into a marriage contract with my partner that is recognized by the state. It would be cheaper if I could, there'd be lots of convenience things, but that's about it.

What's important to me is the first two options. And I have those. I celebrated a Holy Union with my partner in 1997. That means that my relationship with Scott is every bit as valid as anyone who stood before a minister and was "officially" married.

The state has no business in marriage, and needs to get out.