Nope, no new church... too much effort.

Yeah, ok. I've munched on that previous post for nearly a week, and it's pretty obvious I'm full of it.

"I don't consider myself a Christian..." "I profess faith in Jesus..."

What is that?!?! Mindless intellectualizing, I guess. Sigh. Yeah, so it's pretty obvious to me I'm a Christian... no matter what I may choose to call it.

I think what I was really trying to say is that there's this dichotomy between my BEING a Christian, and the fact that every time I hear someone ELSE self identify as a Christian, I tense up... I go on high alert, the adrenalin flows. Their self-actualization irritates me.

Huh? They piss me off. What can I say?

You see the reality is I KNOW I'm a Christian. I know what I believe, and in Whom I have an overriding trust.

But I'm used to being told by all those self-identifying Christians out there that I am NOT one. That I'm going to hell. I suspect if that is true, I'll have good company because they will all be there with me.

Then one day, long before I wrote last week's blog, I ran into a Christian... one I've known a long, long time. Actually, I ran into two of them... my brothers.

We were in Puerto Vallarta on a big family outing. Outing. Huh, a good term for that week.

I'm gay. I went to PV with my partner of 8 years, my parents, my brothers and their wives, and my aunt and uncle. My brothers don't know I'm gay.

So there we are, 5 couples enjoying the fun and the sun. My uncle went missing (he's blind.) After locating him, everyone headed off to breakfast but Big Brother # 1 takes me aside.

"Okay, Eric, I've tried for 7 years to get you to let me share your life with you. So when are you going to tell me you're gay?"

Was that a pin dropping I heard 2 miles away?

"Uh, BB#1, I'm gay."

"It's not like I didn't know, One Who Writes. I figured it out in 96."

That's the year I gave up my lifelong dream so that I could live with the man I love.

We talked. It didn't bother him. Didn't offend his sense of Christian morality. Recognized that I devoted great hours to working in the vineyards, so to speak. He told me I had to tell my other brother, Big Brother # 2.

Now, that terrifies me. I've had a sense that if anyone would be able to accept, it'd be BB#1. But BB#2... he's that breed of Christian that sends the blood of gay men cold. A fundamental evangelical... or at least that's how I cubbyhole him.

I'm gay. I KNOW categorizing people is bad. I do it anyhow... do you?

I suck it up, take BB#2 for a walk. And we walk and we talk... and we talk and we walk... we get about as far up the beach as we can, and it's time to turn back. Finally, I broach the subject.

"BB#2, BB#1 told me I have to talk with you, tell you something"

"He did, huh." Now listen folks, I KNOW, and he knows, and what's more he KNOWS I KNOW that he knows what this is all about. Ain't gonna make it easy for me though.

Well, let's make this short. I told him I was gay. He didn't bat an eye. The world didn't end. No peals of lightening charred him or me, for that matter. He was okay with it.

"What matters in the end is, your personal relationship with Jesus." Well, I have that. And I think BB#2 knows I have that.

For the next 3 days, BB#1&2 along with their wives started treating SO and I differently... in a good way. Well, really, they treated him differently... like he belonged. Like he was part of a family.

And so now, we're a big family again. And the trepidation I felt towards BB#1&2 is gone. I look forward to seeing them again.

And ya know. Maybe, Christians aren't so bad, after all.

;D